Love, Love Love!
Can I just say modern relationships are tough? With dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble and OKC on the market dating should be easy, but it's now harder than ever! With weird acronyms, emojis and being "ghosted" it's harder than ever to get ahead in this dating game or even make a meaningful connection.
Chatting with my single friends I hear stories of feeling disposable when it comes to dating and the lingering feelings of never getting closure when a relationship doesn't work out. Usually, they go something like this: I met this great man/woman. We went on a few dates and then nothing. They stop responding, they delete you off [insert name of app here], and that is the end of it. Fundamentally I see a massive problem with this. Even the most confident person would feel devalued and unaccepted by this behaviour.
As a society, we have learned to hide behind our screens. When you can't see someone's reaction to your action, you learn that actions do not have consequences. This thought could not be further from the truth. Stepping back from dating, we can look at this in the context of internet trolls. As a vocal woman on the internet trolls slide into my DM's on the regular. I think at this point I have been called every name under the sun and have seen a good share of dick pics (side note: WHY!?!). I always wonder, if I was standing in front of this person, would they say these things to my face? Would they hurl their hate at me if I was a person just sitting across from them? I'm sure some of them would but the vast majority probably wouldn't.
Now, let's bring this back to the world of online dating. While some people are very clear about what they are looking, this is not always the case. If you are looking for a casual hookup and swipe right for a casual hookup, then intentions are pretty clear. Other times however there is an air of expectation. You go on a few dates with someone, you think it's going well, and then they are gone, poof! Let's just say they call it ghosting for a reason. While I'm sure this still happened before internet dating (everyone else remembers the will they call? feelings in high school), it seems to run rampant lately, even in longer-term relationships where people have been dating for a few months, one day bam just gone with no explanation. Have our screens made us cowards? Are we afraid to put on our big girl/boy pants and tell someone the truth? We are not as delicate as we believe we are. We can get through these problematic truths and learn from them. We cannot grow as individuals without learning where our faults lay, and learn how to improve upon them.
As dating continues to be disrupted by the tech world, I think that we must evolve with it. Our actions do have consequences on others, and we need to recognize this, think twice about what we are doing to others and improve our behaviour. Let's face it, dating will never be easy, but we can take steps towards being civil to each other and not merely disregarding individuals. If we stop hiding behind our screens, we can have deeper connections, more meaningful conversations and learn more about ourselves.